Authentic Plastic
by MoetEtCadaver
Summary: Angelica's always been fake. But now she has gotten her first cosmetic procedure. Harold's the only thing she's found authentic about the plastic surgery. ONESHOT: PAIRING; AngelicaxHarold.


School had given a three week recces for Spring break. With the superficial, narcissistic mess of girls at Harold's school this was usually the time where girls went on there diets so they could look better, hotter, thinner for the new weather change. A season of short shorts, mini-skirts, bikini's and the pool parties that were right around the corner when summer vacation came about. It had been one week since the start of Spring break and Angelica hadn't returned ANY of his phone calls, answering machine messages, IM's, letters, telegrams or messages on her official site 'Ask Angelica'. He had even made a fake account of a attractive French boy to see if it was enough to get her attention, when there was no response it was relief. Relief she wasn't mad at him of course and relief that she wasn't sitting there, swooning over another guy! ... Even if he had just been a figment.

Obsessive some might think, but no. He was actually just so caring about her, she was really all he had ever had since pre-school and as mean, cruel, nasty and ignoring she was to him he couldn't help but still fall madly in love. No one ever noticed the short, sweet, geeky Harold Frumpkin. Even his own parents didn't notice him. They had always favored their younger son, Harold's brother. The youngest Frumpkin boy was a social butterfly. He was very masculine and a complete ladies man, he was also in a band. Harold followed to the beat of a different drummer. He was very feminine and girly and never really had friends except the Pickles girl who'd bossed him around since day one. Mr. Frumpkin was pretty embarrassed his oldest son was such a sissy and could be pushed around by a girl so he just didn't bother to acknowledge him. It was less pride-diminishing that way. Maybe Harold's mother couldn't relate to him because he was a poet. As a race car technician herself she didn't have much of a soft side. So she never had much enthusiasm for the little Hemmingway her son was growing up to be. That was why he had grown so attached to Angelica Pickles. Angelica always needed Harold, to make her bed, to do her homework, to go to sulky boys concerts with, to tell her which outfit looked better upon her. She actually WANTED him around to go on errands with her, hold her shopping bags. Et cetera, He always felt needed and wanted around her, so having no response from her worried him.

Harold almost fell off of his bicycle as the sharp turn to her porch came up. He got off of his bicycle awkwardly but his pants had got caught a bit in the spokes. He tried to free himself but ripped his pants a bit as he did. The bike tumble to the ground. Once he was loose he ran into her home and up the stairs into the rich, elegant modern home. It was spacious and huge. Both parents being CEO's of companies this wasn't much of a surprise. Angelica was in bed. She had been all day, she heard the front door bust open in a frantic manner. "Daddy?" Angelica smirked as she kicked back into her bed. She had left her father Drew Pickles several voice messages whilst he was in a meeting. She didn't have any expectations he'd actually answer and come running home though. It was such an important work function, but after all she was daddy's little girl. She snickered under her breath, lowering the blankets a bit so only she could hear herself. "Now THIS is what I call service." As the steps got closer, she called out in her bratty, demanding tone. She had used this so often she barely was able to use any other pitch. "I thought you were working until six. Did you bring home strawberry ice cream I asked for in the message?"

The unexpected stomps of tennis shoes rummaging up the steps threw her just waxed eyebrow up in a thread. "Angelikah." She would recognize that nasally lisp any where. It was only Harold, her devoted flunky since Pre-K. But how? "I'm here to check up on yah' Haven't heard . . . ."

A large crash arose from the steps. Angelica clutched her eyes at the sound. She listened on the other side of the door. A heave or two of breath as his feet came back to the carpeting. He must have tripped himself on her stairs again. "From yew."

She heard him right outside her bedroom door now. Quickly she threw the blankets over her face, so no part of her was visible to the outside eye. "HAROLD!! Get out of here! I order you to tell me what is the meaning of THIS?"

"Well if yew'd have listened to any of the 79 messages I'd left you, yew'd know."

Grumbling under her breath, her white teeth gritting."79 messages?" There was loud, heavy, exhausted breathing coming from outside of her bedroom door. "Harold. How did you get in?"

"I've been coming over for 11 years. Doncha think I would have noticed yew guys keep a spare key under the mat by now?"

The door was wide open and he was standing in her bedroom door way. She had the covers hiding her. He could see a large lump wiggle from under them as she squirmed harder to cling to them. He assumed this was so he couldn't yank them off. "What're yew doing under the blankets like that? Are yew feeling under the weather?"

"No." She sighed in annoyance. "I'm not _Harold._"

He scratched his head and took some steps closer. "Did yer bom ground yew?" His voice was always so nasally, even more so than Finster's. Plus he had the most awful lisp. She couldn't STAND it! "In order to be grounded I'd have to be caught doing something bad..." Her lips, which were caked in lip gloss (She never went a day without the stuff) turned heavy and into a devilish smirk. "And I _never_ get caught."

Harold's head tilted side to side as he reminisced upon that one. "True." He got real close now. He thought about it for a moment before taking a seat on the bed. "So I guess yer hiding out because yew found out Deryl is asking out Savannah."

"WHAAAAT!!?" At once she emerged from the covers, her fists fighting as she popped out. "How DARE he! Had he totally missed all the signs I've been giving him all semester in chemistry? I thought 'Deryl, do we have a substitute tomorrow' WAS SUPPOSED TO MEAN SOMETHING!"

Harold was looking at her attentively. Like he always did, even when it was about other guys. This made his stomach churn inside but he didn't want to tell her to stop because it obviously made her happy. Plus she looked hurt by this. He'd never understand why Deryl would go out with -anyone- over Angelica any way.

Angelica huffed a few breaths before she was calm enough and started to notice the situation for what it was worth. Her blanket was off. Her looks were being exposed. She shrieked as she noticed Harold's brown eyes had been watching her the entire time.

"So if you didn't know about _that _then **that** can't be the reason why you were hiding. Are you playing hide and seek?"

Angelica blinked. He was clueless, he hadn't noticed a THING. It was good he didn't but still she couldn't figure out how he could not... or why! "Harold! You idiot! Look at my face! Do you SEE why I haven't left the house??"

Harold looked back at her. He examined her face a bit more.

Her nose was swollen and fat. Her tip looked bulbous and rounded. It reminded her of Savannah's. _She shuddered. _This was only a temporarily side effect of the rhinoplasty though. She had underwent a nose job over Spring break so when she went back to school she'd be the hottest thing, not to mention how great it would come in handy all Summer! It seemed almost hopeless now. Deryl hadn't even wanted _her._ She was beyond upset. Maybe once the inflammation went down and her nose was cuter, pointer and smaller than before he'd lose interest in his new arm candy, but it was unlikely.

Once Harold was undone examining he looked down sheepishly. His fingers were twiddling in his lap. "Umm... Because you're not wearing any eye shadow?"

Angelica slammed her palm into her forehead. She was agitated enough about Deryl so she was going to take out the mistreatment on her punching bag, Harold. "No doofus! My nose! It's three times the size it was! Can you imagine what would happen to me if anyone seen me?? I'd have to sit with Tommy and his lame-O friends at lunch! I've worked months to get a table almost next to the cool kids. Months! For all the money my daddy paid this had better go done by next week or I'm not returning to school!" As Angelica crossed her arms furiously over her chest she turned to look at her friend.

Harold blinked. He immediately scooted closet to her on the bed. His mouth dropping a bit as he stared breathlessly at her. "Angelica... You dinit?" His tone was quickly becoming more worried and rushed. But not like usual when he thought she was sad or hurt. This time was all together different.

Angelica noticed the worry in his eyes and knew she had to settle his melodramatic ways out. "No big Harold. My mother recommended her plastic surgeon to me so I was in good hands." Angelica offered a smile and rested her hand upon his shoulder.

He didn't say anything. In fact he turned from her. As his body slid to another angle she grew curious. Harold brushed her hand off of his shoulder. Shocked and wordless he stared at her open door. The silence made it awkward.

"Harold, It isn't anything major. I wanted my nose to look like Emica's. She goes to Paris to get plastic surgery ALL THE TIME. In fact all the famous stars in Hollywood do it."

Breathing a frustrated sigh out of his nose he didn't feel like facing her right now. In all the years he'd been her best friend never **once** had he ever told her she was wrong, or raised his voice with her. He would feel guilty if he got mad at her. He had the curse of super conscience. This time was different. He couldn't NOT be mad now. "Angelikah.. Yer not one of those Hollywood stars."

"Not now I'm not, but soon I'll--"

"Listen." For the first time in all those years he cut her off. Harold Wayne Frumpkin interrupted Angelica Charlotte Pickles. She'd NEVER been shorted before. She sat back in the bed, shocked.

He remembered a school project. (A/N; Episode 'Wouldn't it be nice' reference) where they were to be paired up and married to another student. Before then she was in the halls with him, leaning up against a locker, staring into her own at a picture she had taped on the inside. It was of Emica. Angelica gazed longingly at it and before she slammed it shut. She told Harold she was going to get it done. He could still remember what he told her back to this very day. _"If we get paired up in that marriage class I'm going to have to put my foot down about that belly button ring." _He then couldn't keep himself mad at her and managed to get in_ "Unless you REALLY want it."_ Curse his passiveness. All in all he was use (and sick) of this. Angelica wanting to compare herself to a singer, who probably only looked the way she did on album covers and magazines. It wasn't realistic. Why couldn't she, for once, just see she didn't need to look like those supermodels, or airhead Emica. She was already perfect because of her flaws.

"Why would yew want to look like air brushed magazine girls any way? You always do Angelikah. Now I've zipped my lips ever since we met but I can't let you go down this path. What is it going to be next time? You want Emica's body so you go on a craathy crrath diet? You want her lipths? Her boobths?"

"Harold!" Angelica grabbed the covers and quickly bundled them to her chest. Her face started to gain colour. Visibly embarrassed by the topic of her breast size.

He noticed how his tone had started out soft and scared to now grabbing at power and strength. He was sick at these constant put downs and attacks she gave herself. _'Susie's voice is better than mine!' 'Savannah's lips are bigger than mine' 'Brittany is taller than I am.' _She needed to end the comparison and be happy being Angelica. "I'm serious Angelikah. Today it'ths the nose but tomorrow yew'll be right back under the knife getting implanths to measure up. You already measure up now. You are kind of insulting my taste when you think you're not pretty enough, because... I think..." A redness came to his cheeks, a graveling tone made him sound shy, which now he was. He was insecure as he was about to tell her something, but apparently it didn't matter to her. She cut him off with her sharp, poison tongue.

"Who cares what you think Frumpkin? Your opinion doesn't count. I mean you didn't even notice planet Jupiter sitting in the middle of my face when you came in."

"I DIDN'T NOTITH BECAUSE I DIDN'T **CARE.**" Angelica curled back up against the headboard. Harold had to double over to heave out a few breaths knotted in his chest. He was getting so worked up over this. When he looked up Angelica's eyes were wide and in stun. She was silent and the big mouth of hers was shut for once. He seemed to have all of her attention and interest right now. He was glad he had the floor because he had something very important he needed to say.

"You shouldn't change yerselfah fer no body. Not fer Sean, J.T. from the Sulky Boyz, and Ethpecially not Deryl! I didn't notith because I don't give'a boot whatcha you look like. I've theen you without make-up, I've theen you in the hospital all banged up, I've theen you after you've jus got done cryaan. And yew're beauteefull no matter what."

Starting to tighten out the buttons on his shirt, he stood taller, straightening his back.

Angelica let out a low bellow "Pssht, Yeah right, I'm sure I look especially great right now with my hair underbrush and my face all banged up."

Red locks dived all the way back around, his eyes now glaring back at hers. They were fierce and unshakable, so she could see the seriousness of his sincerity. "You do."

Angelica felt a quick thrill of air pass inside her stomach. She had never had this feeling around Harold before. She had always wanted to be with Deryl or Sean because they were the cutest boys in school. Harold was such her melodramatic, sweetie-pie lap dog, following her around since they were children. That's all she'd seen him as... Until now. Like she'd told Susie, Kimi and Lil that day at the mall._ A boyfriend is the best accessory. _That was how she seen it, she'd never known or felt romance before. Was this the feeling of butterflies in the stomach she'd heard so much about? No, it couldn't be. Her mother was a business woman, a CEO, her father was a successor as well. She was to inherit great fortune and business. She was to be manipulative and emotionless. Her parents hadn't married for love, so need did she. But What you are taught to do and what you want to do, are two totally different feelings.

For the first time her voice appeared softened, needy, hungry. "Harold."

"I better leave ya be. You prolly want to call up Deryl." His back was now turned so she couldn't see the rolling of his eyes, he walked out of her room and down the hall. Angelica's mouth was dropped wide open. Her little puppet didn't just walk out on her! He must have been really hurt by this. "Harold, wait!" The front door shot. She heard it. She felt much too exhausted by the surgery to get up and chase after him. Laying out in her bed, her muscles underneath her stretched. Though she had experienced fakeness and fraudulence lately the only thing real to come from this plastic surgery had been Harold's words. Guess he had been the only thing **authentic from the plastic.**


End file.
